How To Listen To Yourself and Others

Do you ever stop to listen to yourself?  Like really stop to quiet the mind’s chaos and listen to yourself. 

I’ve been doing this a lot lately.  And wow.  It’s amazing the things you hear when you take the time to actually listen and acknowledge what your inner self is trying to tell you.

Did you know there are actually three levels of listening?  They’re called Levels 1, 2, and 3.

And in this post I’m going to introduce you to the three levels of listening, show you the benefits of expanding your listening to the deepest level 3, and finish off with showing you exactly how you can go about putting this into practice.

Most people are stuck at Level 1.  It’s the surface level. 

Whether you’re in a conversation with someone else, or you’re just trying to get through the day but can’t hear past the noise in your head, that’s you listening at Level 1. 

At Level 1, you have only your conscious, self-centered thoughts as your frame of reference.  And I don’t mean that in a bad way.  What I mean is that, what’s on your mind in the current moment dictates how what you are hearing will impact you, whether it’s from someone else’s mouth or in your own head.  You are your frame of reference in the conversation. 

Level 2 listening is listening with more than just your ears. 

It’s focused at a much deeper level, listening for emotion, expression, perception, or perhaps underlying values or frustrations.   When you listen to someone else at Level 2, you’re noticing more of the underlying things behind what they’re saying.  You can apply this to yourself as well.

And at the deepest level, the root of it all, is Level 3 listening.  

Level 3 is when you listen to information from all angles of the universe at once.  You tap into your deepest intuition.  And beyond listening, you’re able to draw conclusions.

Most people listen at Level 1, because statistically, most people aren’t trained therapists, counselors, or coaches.  Level 1 listening is totally normal and to be expected.  But learning to listen to yourself and others at Levels 2 and 3 can bring some MAJOR benefits.

For purposes of this blog post, let’s hold on the benefits to others and spend this time talking about how this benefits YOU, specifically if you find yourself in a rut about something. 

Let’s start with an example, and I’m going to kind of embarrass myself here:

A scenario at Level 1 Listening:

I binge eat the daylights out of my kitchen in the afternoons, and unfortunately, this brings about a number of negative consequences.  I blow through my groceries budget way sooner than expected.  I’m eating way too many calories a day.  And it’s unhealthy, any way you look at it.  Not to mention, I feel like a complete failure every time I do this.  Failure in the sense that I can’t stick to my intended meal schedule, and that I have no control, no commitment, no strength, no nothing!! (stomps feet like a 2 year-old at this point.)

Ok so yes, this was a daily occurrence for me.  And yes, there was a LOT going wrong in that thought process I was having.  Thought distortions, meta views, the list goes on. I can elaborate more on those topics another time, but the point here is that all of the above is me Level 1 Listening to myself. 

Because I’m focused on the very surface level issue here (binge eating), and the impact it’s having on me at that superficial level (frustration and failure).

If you’ve heard of the weight loss Noom app that’s based on psychology and making major waves, a lot of what they teach in that is this exact concept. (I joined and it’s been a Godsend to me).

But here’s what Level 2 Listening would look like if we replay the scenario: 

Ok, I’m getting very frustrated on a daily basis because of this.  Why does this keep happening?  If I listen more closely, with ALL of my senses, I can actually see that there are several triggering events that happen that cause me to run to the fridge desperate for snacks.  (And none of them are hunger, by the way). 

In Level 2 listening, we start to see patterns and trends. When something with work comes up that I either don’t want to do, or I don’t feel comfortable or confident enough doing, I try to avoid or procrastinate doing it by getting up and going to the fridge for food.  Listening to myself at this level, I can also see that having a bowl of snacks sitting next to me is oddly comforting to me during those more difficult tasks I have to do.  WEIRD. 

But now, let’s go a little deeper into Level 3 Listening: 

It seems that I’m using food as a crutch to get me through something I deem to be difficult.  I seem to lack confidence in my ability to complete more time-intensive tasks, or those for which I might not have an immediate solution.  I’ve realized that I like finishing things quickly.  If not, it seems I fear the time and effort it takes to find solutions for people. Interesting.

Starting to see something here? 

Now look at how insane this Level 1 conclusion was compared to Level 3!

Level 1 Conclusion:  I keep blowing through my budget and eating way too many calories a day because I’m a total failure who clearly has no control or commitment to staying healthy!

Vs. Level 3 Conclusion: I like completing my work and finding solutions quickly for people.  I seem to lose confidence in more time-intensive projects, and in those instances, I use food as my crutch to get me through the task.

Wowsers. Quite a difference.

Can you imagine if you listened to yourself at Level 3 more often?  Can you imagine if you listened to your significant other, coworkers, friends, and family at Level 2 or 3 more often??

But really, this is so beneficial to understand, especially if you’re someone who beats yourself up a lot, OR just as importantly, if you’re someone who gets frustrated with other people easily.

So how do you start to make this a regular practice?

1. It starts with you being aware. 

And you can check that box because I’ve now made you aware of these listening concepts.  But also, take this awareness and apply to your own personal thoughts and the conversations you’re in with other people.

2. Stop and seek silence. 

I stumbled into this practice when I started going out to the dock first thing in the morning as a new way to set my mood for the day.  The longer I sat out there, the more still my mind became.  Of course it wouldn’t last more than one hour into my work day, so I started going back to my quiet place during my lunch breaks.  And then again after work.  I made a habit of seeking this silence multiple times daily.  Because there is no way you can think clearly when the usual distractions are right around you. 

So find your silent space.  Preferably outside your house somewhere.  Or maybe in your bedroom if it means there’s no TV, phone, or work distractions.  Or, if you’re home alone with nowhere else to go, just sit in the middle of your living room with your eyes closed and imagine yourself somewhere else entirely.

3. Ask out loud into the silence for help with your specific issue.

Some may call this asking the universe.  For me personally, I call it asking God.  And others might just call it talking out loud to themselves.  But I’ll tell you this, after two solid months of doing this daily, I can go outside to my God spot, ask my question, and I hear an answer come right back to me.  And not only do I get an answer, but I get a step-by-step understanding of my situation, myself, and others involved.  With all senses.  At all three listening levels.  It is pretty bad-ass. 

4. Do not underestimate the power of what you just did.

Do you know how rare it is for people to feel listened to or understood?  I’m sure you’ve said the same thing yourself! 

Do you know how powerful it is when you can actually hear your intuition (or God) speaking?  Where you can hear it so clearly that you have the confidence to act on it?  (By the way, if our intuitions didn’t come from something bigger and more powerful than our earthly physical bodies, then we’d never have any worries, stress, fear, or uncertainty, would we? Just my thought.) 

So this is an amazingly powerful thing!  So take this information and your time spent in silence, listening at all levels, very seriously.  It can be life changing.  Actually I’m going to come right out there and tell you it WILL be life changing. 

And don’t forget to thank yourself for this time spent listening at all levels.  It’s one of the most valuable things you can do for yourself and for those around you.  Give it a try and let me know what you think in a comment below! 

Have a fantastic week! On all levels ;)

-Kristin

How to Start Writing In Your Spare Time

typewriter

When that inkling to write creeps into your heart and mind, that feeling never quite dies. You might graduate college and go a decade into your career, much like myself, but eventually that desire to create expressions through writing will be knocking harder and harder at your insides, so badly wanting to come out.

Let’s face it, writing is the product of SO much passion. When you love to read and create and get lost in an imaginary world, it’s only natural that your mind will often come up with characters and ideas, plots and twists. So whether you were a budding author as a child, or you were someone that just wanted to write features and stories and snippets from your life, you will still have that feeling until you put pen to paper. Or, perhaps more aptly, fingers to keyboard.

So, let’s say you ARE interested in writing in your spare time, maybe even with the intention of turning this into a career. Or selling a story. How do you do it and where do you even start?

First, Just Start

Right now! When you’ve finished reading this post, open up your laptop and just get writing. Brain dump is what I call it. Brain dump whatever it is on your mind and don’t worry a second about grammar or organization. Just let the creativity flow. Getting started is often the hardest part, so if you just do it, you’ve beaten that hurdle.

Set Aside The Time

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You’re pumped, you’re motivated on Day 1, but then life takes over again on Day 4, and you stop. Ya’ll, clearly I’ve been mad guilty of this lately. Hence, why I’m writing this post. Find time to write by first determining what’s a doable amount of time to write each day (I did 20 minutes starting out), and then get real with yourself to determine what time of day your brain is most capable of doing this. Perhaps it’s the wee hours of the morning when the world is quiet and it’s just you and your coffee. Or maybe your lunch break when you need to vent about your day. Whenever it is, just schedule it in and make a habit of it. When you’ve got the time set aside for it, you will write.

Kick Into Routine-Mode

You know what they say about the number of days it takes to make a lifelong habit. Do it for those 21 days straight and guess what, writing just became a glorious part of your daily life. Consistency is key to make it big, they say. So make sure you’re being consistent. Again, I have epic-ally FAILED at this recently. Ergo, this is a seriously important reminder on how much you’re capable of achieving when you’re in a routine. AND, the more of a routine you get into with your writing, the easier and more natural it will become.

how to write

Take It Seriously!

Like no joke, if you wrote for 20 minutes a day, you are capable of being one hell of a good writer in a matter of months! Umm, hashtag bosscard! And then there may come a time where you feel ready to take this whole writing thing to another level! Maybe you want to look at online jobs from home where you can write to make money and then write in your spare time creatively too. Or, maybe you want to think about getting a pitch together for a book proposal? Umm, my dream! So keep up the consistency and things WILL get serious for you.

Go Big and Without a Care!

go big or go home

Do NOT over-analyze and be hard on yourself. That’s not why you’re writing. You’re writing because you LOVE IT. You’re writing because it’s a God-given TALENT. You’re writing because it releases feelings, emotions, and creativity that make you feel whole each day. THAT is why you’re writing. And when you remind yourself of that each day, you WILL be consistent. And what did we say above? When you stay consistent, you will get really damn good. And when that happens? The possibilities are endless my friend. Go BIG. You deserve to.

-Kristin Leigh



What is a Pinterest Community?

So glad you asked! This feature is literally just days old, right off the presses. (Off the presses - are we even allowed to still use that term? Sad!)

Ok so basically Pinterest Communities are like Facebook groups, BUT BETTER. Here’s why:

  1. You are joining a group where your feed is full of beautiful pictures of things YOU care about.

  2. You don’t have to sift through everything else you could care less about to get to what you ACTUALLY want to see. (Ahem, Facebook & Instagram)

  3. Bye-bye annoying political posts that we’re all sick of seeing. There’s a specific Community for that.

  4. Your phone will not be exploding with notifications about literally everything.

  5. You can create posts for the group using your own original content, OR you can simply PIN and share other content you love on Pinterest! (Yay, no work!)

  6. It’s like Instagram with the pretty pictures, but without the annoyance of fake accounts, follower/like obsessions, AND you don’t have to be the one posting everything, everyone can! (sigh of relief).

  7. It’s also better than Instagram because each post contains LINKSSSS! So you can access more information instantly. Praise the lord, hallelujah!

  8. There’s way more benefits, I’m literally only 8 hours into using it.

Ok so how do I SEARCH, JOIN, OR CREATE a Pinterest Community?

Literally, the easiest thing ever.

  1. First, open your phone’s Pinterest App. Look at the bottom center of your screen. Do you see a Community icon with a heart in the center like below? If not, all you need to do is update the app and then you’ll see it.

pinterest blogger

2. You have to first JOIN a community in order to be able to CREATE a community (if you so wish to create one).

SEARCH and JOIN communities by clicking that Community icon and inputting your search terms. Or, to make it easier, simply join these two communities right here:

https://www.pinterest.com/community/sneakers/

https://www.pinterest.com/community/career-tips/

Pinterest Community Search.jpg

3. Now that you’ve joined a Pinterest Community, you can CREATE a Pinterest community in one easy step (if you want to). See that + (plus) sign in the top right corner of my previous screenshot above? Click that to CREATE a new community. And then all you need to do is add three simple pieces of info - Community Name, Description, and a Cover Photo. Voila! You’re now the admin of your new Pinterest Community!

Create a Pinterest Community.png

4. Now that you’ve joined a couple communities, feel free to start sharing content! You can upload your own pics OR you can post from pics you’ve already pinned on Pinterest! (This feature is amazing because now YOU don’t always have to be the creator of the content).

Just click the “Write something” field, start writing, and if you want to upload a photo or Pin, just tap that section at the bottom of the screen. And boom, all your recent pins, or your phone’s camera pics, are right there for you to choose from.

Pinterest Community Post.png
Pinterest Community Post create.png
Pinterest Pins.png

And that’s it!! Make sure you join the Sneakers community I just created because I want to meet you and we can share our favorite new kicks!

-Kristin

This is How I Toured Paso Robles Wine Country

What is up y'all!  I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are enjoying the kickoff to the holidays!  This year I flew out to California to spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriend and his family.  I took the entire week off from work, UNPLUGGED, and thought what better way to kick off the week than with two days in wine country?  So I landed in LA Monday morning and hit the road immediately to travel the PCH up to Paso Robles. 

paso robles vineyards

Why Paso?  Two reasons - 1) I LOVE Justin wine and 2) I LOVE Ancient Peaks wine.  If these two gems came from Paso, then I was excited to see what else this wine country had to offer.

Paso Robles: The Itinerary

While planning this out, I was warned not to make the mistake of getting "slammered," which is the act of scheduling way too many winery visits in one day.  Whether that actually happened is debatable, but I like to make the most of my days so here's how it went down:

Monday afternoon: Ancient Peaks winery   

Pit stopped into Ancient Peaks since we were driving in to Paso from the South.

Pit stopped into Ancient Peaks since we were driving in to Paso from the South.

ancient peaks

Ancient Peaks sits at the bottom end of Paso Robles.  Since we arrived into the area late Monday afternoon, we thought this would be our winery choice for the day before driving into the heart of Paso and checking into our hotel. 

Ancient Peaks' tasting room is more of a storefront experience, versus sitting on sprawling vineyards.  But, I absolutely LOVED the interior of it, and our wine server was so awesome and knowledgeable.  They have a really cute outdoor area with little cask fountains and couches that look out to the streets of the quaint little town of Santa Margarita. 

The wine I went there for is the Oyster Ridge Cabernet, which is the final wine on their tasting menu.  Clearly I have good taste.  The wine that shockingly blew me away was their Chardonnay.  I'm NOT a Chard fan, but I was shocked at how light and airy theirs was.  The flight included 5 wines (1 white and 4 reds) for $15.  Overall good value and I recommend stopping in.  

Ancient Peaks Wine Tasting

Hotel: Holiday Inn Paso Robles

I researched a ton of different hotel options, but ended up using IHG points to stay for free at the Holiday Inn Express because it's located in the dead center of Paso.  We were 150% satisfied with the accommodations.  So after getting a much needed long night's sleep, we arrived to Justin the next day, bright and early. 

Tuesday Winery #1: Justin

20 minute scenic drive from hotel out to Justin

20 minute scenic drive from hotel out to Justin

Justin sits way back there in the valley so have patience on your drive.  I highly recommend making this your first stop of the day given its distance, then you can work your way back in to town.

The inside of Justin has an open air, contemporary vibe to it.  We took a walk around and found our favorite Justin bottles staring back at us behind thick glass cases.  Justin enthusiasts, carry a napkin to catch your drool.  The Eighty-One and Isosceles never looked so good. 

They also have a restaurant on site that overlooks the vineyard.  We opted not to eat so early, so we instead found a spot outside overlooking their vineyards. 

Looking out from our table at Justin

Looking out from our table at Justin

Justin's tasting is 5 wines for $20.  The pours were average 1 oz as you can see below, and their wines are all SO damn good that even if we got stiffed some, it didn't matter.  In my opinion, their wines are standout in quality. 

Justin Wine Tasting - 1st pour

Justin Wine Tasting - 1st pour

Enjoying the Isosceles Reserve at Justin 

Enjoying the Isosceles Reserve at Justin 

The views were really nice, and it just so happened that sitting next to us were Mia Hamm and Nomar Garciaparra!  This is me finally realizing why the couple looked so familiar.  No we did not do a group pic lol.  But Justin did have the most adorable fall setup at the entrance of their winery so Derek and I posed for that.     

Having a moment in Justin's fall foilage.

Having a moment in Justin's fall foilage.

Having a moment at Justin Winery :p

Having a moment at Justin Winery :p

Tuesday Winery #2: Daou

We enjoyed the same scenic drive making our way back towards the center of Paso.

We enjoyed the same scenic drive making our way back towards the center of Paso.

Ok.  Now you want to talk about views?  Daou's views are absolutely breathtaking.  And their outdoor seating area has couches, blankets, fire pits, and spans multiple levels into the vineyard.  Everything about this place is beautiful and you'll want to spend the entire day here... 

Daou vineyards

Daou vineyards

Looking out from Daou's upper deck

Looking out from Daou's upper deck

...If you're the richest man in the world that is.  It is EXPENSIVE, with the wine tastings coming in at a measly $40 per person.    What??  Yes, $40 for 5 tiny pours.  Now it'd be one thing if the pours were generous, but they were by far the tiniest pours I have EVER seen in my life.  Like, so tiny I couldn't even tell you what the wine tasted like. 

I was pretty upset about this, but when I turned my eyes away from the 4 drops of a "tasting" in my glass and looked out at the 360 degree vistas, I felt better. 

daou vineyards

We also ordered a $40 cheese and charcuterie plate (as if we had a choice lol), though it was pretty substantial, and really good I might add. 

Yes indeed I was having a moment :p

Yes indeed I was having a moment :p

And then the bill came. 

Pay up at Daou.  $200 and change. That one hurt.

Pay up at Daou.  $200 and change. That one hurt.

HERE IS THE SECRET TO NOT GOING BROKE AT DAOU:  Do NOT do the wine tastings.  Rather, you can order their best bottle for $65 and share it.  That's an entire bottle for you and your company to spend the day there soaking in the views, for a TOTAL of $65. 

Having a moment in Daou's vineyards.

Having a moment in Daou's vineyards.

Here's where it gets even better.  If you do the wine tastings, you're confined to their upper deck, so the server can keep watch on your status and tend to you better.  If you pass on the tastings and order either full glasses or a bottle, you can sit yourself wherever you'd like on the grounds.  And as I mentioned above, they have some STUNNING seating areas.  Trust me, this is 100% the way to go.   

A seating area in Daou's vineyard.

A seating area in Daou's vineyard.

Tuesday Winery #3: Alta Colina

Alta Colina is just a short 5 minute drive from Daou.

Alta Colina is just a short 5 minute drive from Daou.

Talk about some awesome estate wines.  It was really cool getting to meet this family, including the friendliest German Shepard pup I have ever seen - Honey!  Their wine tasting was $15 for 5 wines.  And it is here I finally bought a bottle to take home, in which they waived our tasting fee.      

Photo credit Alta Colina

Photo credit Alta Colina

This was one of those fun wineries where at this point you're loosened up and just shooting the sh-t with the owners.  Or, if you're like me, you're on the ground giving belly rubs to the family dog. (recall from my Instastories lol). 

Alta Colina's top member, Honey.  And she is absolutely as sweet as honey!

Alta Colina's top member, Honey.  And she is absolutely as sweet as honey!

There isn't a view from the tasting room's bar, per say, but that's because the tasting room sits at the base of their vineyards, so the views expand backwards and upwards.  Regardless, it was one of my favorites spots we visited.  

Tuesday Winery #4: Bodega de Edgar

Bodega de Edgar is literally the driveway next door to Alta Colina.

Bodega de Edgar is literally the driveway next door to Alta Colina.

This tasting room actually sits on the 2nd floor of another winery and distillery called Villicana Winery & ReFind Distillery.  So as not to cause confusion when you pull up, look for this staircase on the left side of the building.

Tasting room stairway to Bodega de Edgar

Tasting room stairway to Bodega de Edgar

I love Riojas which is what I was hoping to get from this winery, however they didn't have any on their tasting flight.  Major bummer.  We ordered the tasting regardless, which I think was $10, and yeah I'll say the wines were good.  I'll also remind you this was our 4th winery soooo.....recall that term "slammered" above. 

Tasting Room in Bodega de Edgar

Tasting Room in Bodega de Edgar

Now what I will say is the story of Edgar, the founder, is REALLY cool.  So if anything, I'd recommend reading the backstory to this winery.  And of course if you love Spanish reds, then swing on by for sure. 

Tuesday Winery #5 (barely) : Eberle

Eberle was a short 10 minute drive from Bodega de Edgar.

Eberle was a short 10 minute drive from Bodega de Edgar.

I mean, can I get a round of applause that we even made it to a 5th winery in one day on our own two feet?? 

My Eberle Wine

My Eberle Wine

So Eberle is the winery with the totally awesome cave tours.  However, we showed up 10 minutes before closing time so the tours were done for the day.  I wasn't really impressed with Eberle's wine quality, however the tastings were FREE so the wine bar was packed with people.  And for as packed as they were, the service was still really good. 

eberle vineyards

We grabbed two full glasses of wine (for free!) and walked outside to check out the views.  Did we really need two glasses of wine at this point?  Absolutely not.  But the glasses served their purpose, allowing me to get the pretty cool shots you see here.

Sunset at Eberle.  We survived Paso Robles wine country!

Sunset at Eberle.  We survived Paso Robles wine country!

Six Wineries in 1.5 Days....That's a wrap!

Whew!  We did good.  We had great weather, great wine, and great company.  Overall verdict - I would go back to Paso Robles in a heartbeat!  For now, I'm taking a teeny tiny break from wine lol.  Hope you all enjoyed this post, and comment below if you've been and want to share your experiences, have questions, or just want to say hi!

Keep doing it for kicks! - Kristin